a response to a question about religion posted on http://monochromaticblack.tumblr.com/ 

“I think diluting religion to mere theories of how the world came to be is over-simplification. Yes, theories of how the world came to be are aspects included in religion but those theories alone don’t necessarily define a religion.

And it’s very interesting, I’ve heard two people who are atheist say something to the effect of “If I’m wrong then oh well.” To me, that’s definitely a refection of your atheistic views because I think that most people involved in a religion believe that there will be an afterlife that results from the life lived here on Earth and the beliefs committed to. So it’s not just “Oh well” but rather having to endure an eternity under conditions that you don’t want to be in.

And if none of us are right then I guess we’ll all just disintegrate into nothingness and the world will continue to exist until the last generation runs out of natural resources and all die… that is if virtual sunlight and computerized water haven’t been invented yet.”

Music is always that something…I can talk to when there is no one else up at 4 in the morning. 

 I feel alone in this fight ahead. I know the fight is worth fighting, but it would be nice to have robin along side me on some “back to back” type shit. It would help me to know i’m going to make it through when I have moments of doubt.

I can get this crazy anxiety at times. Where I can’t move from where I am, but a song can speak to my limbs. Playing guitar, writing a song, or hearing one, calms the sea inside. Allowing me to carry the weight for another day. I guess it started when I was small. I would sing to myself when i was alone, digging for words when I could not express what I felt any other way. 

I sing when I’m happy a lot. I hear music when I’m speaking to someone, my own little soundtracks. The happiest moments in my life or in moments of understanding I have found songs. I have melodies in my head that will never be anything, but they are the melodies of times I have felt love or lost. Or sometimes it’s the songs of others that are place holders for feelings I have felt. Those song don’t always have to be on topic but within them I have placed my life.